There has been a new step added in our paperwork process and we were "fortunate" enough to literally be one of the first families affected by it. This extra step has added an estimated 2 weeks in our wait to travel, but since we're guinea pigs for this since we have no averages to look back on we aren't certain. With that being said our agency "hopes" our Article 5 will be ready next week on the 11th, but they also said maybe it would be earlier or it could be later. Reading between the lines I think they're saying they really don't know!
I'm conscious there are many more people reading this blog than I realize. Many I don't know personally, some I only know via the internet, some are just curious and enjoy reading other people's stories. Just knowing this took a lot of courage for me to share what is in my heart and to share how we feel God is leading us. I mean I'm not a theologian, have no formal Biblical training, and am as human as the next guy!
I imagine a big question is why are we planning this trip to China on specific dates next month, and why are we praying towards that end? It could easily come across that we looked at the calender, picked some dates, and said "Ok, God, now come through for us please." I don't have an answer except to say that I've been through enough things to know it doesn't work that way!
Last October when we first saw Garrett's face I knew travel could happen anytime between March-May. Again, just based on averages of people who've gone before us. I knew the biggest determiner was the LOA which for some people can be in a matter of weeks (days in some rare cases) to months for others. No real way to predict. For Jackson we waited something like 92 days for our LOA. I looked ahead at the calender and did some calculations. I set a cut off date in my mind as Jan. 1st, and knew that if our LOA came earlier than expected and arrived in 2009 then we could probably go in March. If it came after Jan. 1st I was happy to plan on May travel. (These dates are based on Andrew's teaching schedule. March is spring break. May is when the semester is over.) Our LOA came on Dec. 18th after only waiting 56 days.
I am very much a planner and organizer. I do best when I know what to expect, and God knows it's good for me to learn to trust Him with the unknown. Obviously I'm still learning since it's been a continual theme now for 4 adoptions! I really did try and avoid the last minute "what if's", and thought we would have PLENTY of time to plan travel. PLENTY OF TIME. Time to enjoy making plans, time to count down the days with excitement, time to pack, time to get everyone else's schedule lined up with ours.
I believe God spoke clearly when our LOA came when it did. I believe He answered that prayer, and we were to plan for March. And I believe that decision was confirmed when Andrew was given a class to teach in May (very unexpected) which was another answer to prayer for finances.
I knew it would be close, but estimated we should have our TA by mid-February--two months after we got LOA. And then the unexpected delays began happening. Paperwork being mailed postal service instead of being overnighted, Christmas, New Year's, Chinese New Year holiday breaks, new steps being implemented on paperwork processing as I mentioned above, etc. Now we're down to knowing we only have days to spare and not weeks before travel. Or we could miss it completely.
So what do we do? Just play it safe and plan for June and wait for months knowing we could jump on a plane and get our little boy if we wanted to but we're choosing not to? Most adoptive parents I know want their children home YESTERDAY, so that option was not pleasant to think about. We already knew it wasn't an option for either of us to travel alone either. Or do we go with what we felt God clearly spoke on?
I read the story again yesterday of Peter walking on the water. He was full of courage when he jumped out of the boat that he could actually do the impossible and WALK ON TOP OF THE WATER. And He did it! But then he looked around at his circumstances and realized that walking on water is just not done. Humanly speaking. And he began to sink. He cried out to Jesus for help. Matthew 14:31 says, "Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?'"
We're choosing not to look at the circumstances around us that cause us to doubt. Instead we are choosing to act in faith and make plans without having all the resources in hand first. It's certainly uncomfortable being tested like this, and it's more than we've ever been before, so we welcome it knowing that we're growing in faith and exactly where God would have us. It causes us to seek Him daily, to listen for His voice, to face our fears head on, and make a choice to act in faith.
Stay tuned,
Jennifer
